Conversations
by bahocean
Summary: Unusual dialogues with unusual people give Katniss and Peeta insight into the other.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: There are two inspirations for this story.

Never listen to "My Immortal" by Evanescence 12:30am while folding laundry at work. It brings ideas like THIS one to fruit. (I'm not saying don't listen to it, period, just not at the time I did. ;) )

The wonderful, WONDERFUL, story by Della19 "At the Broken Places." If you haven't read this, WHY NOT? You NEED to go read it…after you finish THIS one of course!

And now, the story...

Conversations

By Bahocean

HG PK HG KP HG PK HG KP

Peeta Mellark was HACKED.

Now usually the 19-year-old, co-victor of the 74th Hunger Games, baker, painter, and all around nice guy had a relatively even temper. It behooved him to be so, especially when the love of his young life was so volatile.

There were times, of course, when that wasn't true. When the tracker jacker venom memories welled up and flooded him with false ideas. Then he got a little mad. That situation was happening less and less, though.

When he was dealing with his fiancée, Katniss Everdeen, in one of her more intractable moods...that was another situation in which even HIS famous patience got tried.

Like now.

Of course, it was all Katniss' fault.

THIS fight had been unusual in more ways than one, for more reasons than one.

It started when he had innocently asked if she wanted to invite Gale Hawthorne, her former best friend, to the wedding. He had only been trying to make amends between the two. It didn't hurt that he wanted to make sure Gale knew Katniss was unavailable.

Her reply had nearly singed his ears off.

Then it had somehow escalated into every difference they had ever had between them, like setting a wedding date, (he was all for getting married quickly) ending with her inflexibility about having children. He did, and THAT was their biggest difference.

As he stomped through the snow on the way to District 12's town, Peeta heard a giggle. Startled, he looked around. He didn't know what was so funny, and couldn't see anyone… or anything. But for some reason, the giggle sounded very familiar.

He shrugged and continued on his way. He couldn't believe Katniss was so DIFFICULT about this! Oh wait, yes he could. Look up the definition of "stubborn" and you'd find a drawing of Katniss.

Oh, man, he didn't think he could handle it if she wasn't going to change her mind about KIDS! He KNEW they'd be good parents! Why she didn't was a mystery to him.

"Can you handle losing her?"

Peeta whirled, certain he was losing what little mind the Capitol had left him. That voice sounded so familiar, but no one was there.

He shook his head to clear it. "Katniss is causing me to lose my mind," he muttered.

"Now is that really fair? Or any way to talk about my sister-mom?"

He looked again, to where the voice had come from. What he saw made him swallow hard. Because the young woman standing there in a pale yellow dress, halo and WINGS looked so much like—And she was DEAD…

"Prim?" he croaked.

She nodded, pleased. "So, you're finally ready to pay attention. Good."

"How-?" Peeta choked.

Primrose Everdeen rolled her eyes, looking so much like his Katniss it make his heart

clench.

"Well, I could go on for hours about the hereafter and rules for contact, or humor you, and tell you you're either dreaming or cracking up, but I'd rather you just believe I'm here and now. Saves a lot of time."

Peeta was becoming irritated with ANOTHER Everdeen female. "Gee, we're on a time limit?"

Prim shrugged. "Kinda."

"Oh, okay," Peeta drawled. "How long do I have to accept that a DEAD KID is talking to me?"

"Oh, about five seconds. Look, I know it's cliché, but I'm here to help you… and Katniss."

THAT pierced his anger. A pinch to his arm made him yelp. He looked down, surprised. He'd unconsciously pinched HIMSELF!

Prim giggled. "YES, you're awake! Relax!"

"But WHY here? Now? Me? If you can visit people, why not Katniss? She misses you so much. To know you're okay…"

Prim smiled. "One question at a time, okay? Here and Now, because YOU'RE here and now. You both need me now. And why you…" She sighed. "It's BECAUSE Katniss still misses me so much. Seeing me really COULD send her around the bend."

Peeta snorted. "And not me?"

She giggled again. "You're not as attached to me emotionally. You love me, mostly because she does, and you love Katniss."

He scowled. "Sometimes I wonder why."

"Oh you do not. You KNOW why. And in case you forget, I'm here to remind you. And to let you in on some of her secrets."

Peeta actually LOOKED at the young spirit standing there. Mostly he'd been staring, unable to comprehend what he saw. But now he did. He saw potential that had been lost, the promise broken so soon, the sisterly love that transcended death. And he was saddened by the loss.

Then what she'd said registered. "Only SOME of Katniss' secrets?"

"Yes. She does have a few of them. Mostly from the world. But she has a list of who knows them. Bottom of the list is Johanna, Mom, Haymitch, and you top the list. But even you don't know them all."

Peeta scowled teasingly. "So, if I don't know them all, tell me one."

Prim looked sober. "She never really got to be a kid."

"I KNEW that."

"Let me finish! She never got to be a carefree kid, a teenager, a young girl with her first crush. She went from 11 to head of the family, from single and anonymous to involved and famous, from being grateful to you to being in love with you for the Capitol."

Peeta winced. "Not my favorite memory."

"Hers, either. But that's not the only point. Her life has happened to her so fast- boom, boom boom- that she wants to enjoy what she has NOW. She wants to savor being in love with you NOW. And she needs to. You need to let her."

Peeta looked puzzled. "How do I do that?"

"By understanding her. Katniss doesn't want kids for a lot of reasons. The biggest one is that she didn't want to bring them into the world with the Hunger Games and risk losing anyone else she loved. She loves so hard, Peeta. You know that from experience. She loves so strong, so much, she knew that knowing any children she had could be Reaped would drive her mad."

Peeta took objection to that. "But there ARE no more Hunger Game! We helped make sure of that. So that fear's gone."

"In your eyes, yes. But not in her HEART. She lived it, you both did. She needs time to be sure that it's really over, and she may never BE sure of that. There's also you."

"Me?"

"Yes. She never wanted to be in love with you."

Peeta was offended. "Well, gee thanks."

Prim laughed. "Sorry. May I continue?"

Peeta gestured her to do so.

"Katniss is not good with being told what to do. She didn't want to love you, or anybody, just because she was told to. Plus, there's her fear that when you two marry and if you have kids, and she loses you, she'll be just like our mother and emotionally abandon them."

"But Katniss is stronger than that!"

"That's how much she loves you, Peeta. Yes, she may be stronger than our mother, but still. Look what losing me cost her."

Peeta blanched. THAT was true.

"Anyway, being in love with you because she was ordered to? Didn't sit well with Katniss. You thought it earlier. She is the DEFINITION of stubborn. She needs time to come to things on her own. She needed time to realize that she loved you DESPITE, even maybe TO spite Snow and the Capitol. Luckily for her, you're a patient man."

"I love her," he said simply.

Prim beamed. "And she KNOWS that. She's so lucky you do. But do you know the reverse?"

"How lucky I am she loves me? Oh yes, I do."

"Then comes the hard part. You need to put that patience and stubbornness YOU possess to good use."

"Why?"

"Give me an answer to this question off the top of your head and be honest. Would you rather have Katniss and no children or any other woman and children?"

"Katn- " his voice trailed off.

Prim nodded. "And it may come down to that, Peeta. She raised me, loved me, and lost me. More, watched me die. She may never completely recover enough to want to risk that again. She knows that as much as she loves me, a child of hers? Dying? She would never recover. THAT'S how deeply she loves."

"And how special YOU arre."

Prim literally glowed. "Thanks, Peeta."

"Don't mention it. Really."

Prim laughed, then grew serious again. "You have to ask yourself something. Do you love Katniss enough, flaws and all, VIRTUES and all, to accept she may never come to want to be a mother, to change her mind? Can you compromise on this sticking point? Or do you love her conveniently?"

Peeta was getting hacked again. "What do you mean by that?"

Prim was unmoved by his anger. "What I MEAN is, do you only love her until it stops being easy, until life throws another boulder in your way? Loving her when you were children, from afar, was easy. You didn't have to risk anything. Now you have the real Katniss, and it's proving a challenge. So do you walk away? Or do you love her through EVERYTHING?"

"I think I've proven that."

Prim spoke softly. "Yes you have, to me and to her. You just needed to remember that yourself. You also need to remember she's full of fear. You have to remind her that in your way your love rides as deeply as hers. You have to remind her that you won't let her fears come between you, that you won't let her wreck this by differing opinions on things. Differences can build a relationship if used well, Peeta. Use yours to build the bonds between you two stronger.

Peeta was suddenly filled with awe. "How did you become so wise?"

"Life…and death."

"Well, it worked. I won't and I will."

Now the young girl was confused. "Huh?"

Peeta laughed. "I won't let her mess this up. I won't let MYSELF mess this up. And I will remind her that I love her no matter our fears or obstacles. And no matter what WE decide, not I or Katniss separately. We are a unit. BOTH of us need to remember that from time to time."

"Good."

To Peeta's surprise, Prim began to fade.

He guessed he thought she'd fly away.

Anyway she was going. "Wait! Where…?"

"To copy an old line "My work here is done." Go. Love Katniss the way _you both_ deserve. And thanks for loving her."

"Prim! Wait! Thanks…" But she was gone.

The only things left to prove she hadn't been a hallucination was the sore arm…and a small white feather where Primrose Everdeen had been standing.

Solemnly, Peeta picked it up, whispering, "Thanks for… everything." Then, filled with resolve, he turned toward the house he shared with his fiancée, knowing what he had to do.

Peeta Mellark had to love Katniss Everdeen. The rest would not be easy, but it would follow, and it would be worth it.

End Part 1/3


	2. Part 2

Conversations

Part 2

Katniss Everdeen was not a happy camper.

Sometimes it was because the past had gotten its teeth firmly embedded in her psyche. Images of all those lost souls haunted her until she wanted to run screaming into the night. Luckily, that was happening less and less. But the past was quiet today.

No, her anger was because her normally easy-going, patient fiancée was being a jealous, pushy, child-craving IDIOT!

Normally, like she just thought, he was the most even-tempered soul she knew. Unless the venom flared up, then Peeta was not someone anyone unaware of the situation should be around. But otherwise, the young Mister Mellark usually saw around to her way of thinking.

Usually.

But on this—or rather on these issues—he was so unlike the Peetas she loved, she didn't know how to handle it. He wasn't budging!

Well, she figured he did have a right every once in a while. But it did vex her that she could see his point on some of the issues he was stubborn about.

Gale had been her best friend for so long. He had helped keep her family alive during the cursed Hunger Games, and had been important to her through all the problems and prickles in her life. Peeta had always understood that connection, even when it had hurt him. He knew she missed Gale, knew it was a conflict she might never solve on her own. Gale might have killed Prim through his invention, but he had done it by accident. Katniss still didn't know if she could forgive him for that, but she was working on it. Peeta knew she was still conflicted, and he would do anything to help her. Maybe he thought that seeing Gale at their wedding would help solve THAT issue. Plus, she thought maybe Peeta was rubbing Gale's nose in their marriage. She could understand. After all, she had the urge to smack any woman looking at Peeta for long.

Dang it, one reason to be upset at Peeta gone! But she wasn't sure she wanted to give up the other two reasons so easily. Peeta was so insistent on the wedding date being soon. She wanted to savor the engagement, as she would the marriage. Besides, SHE was going to be the one to do most of the work! She should be the one to decide the date.

She put aside that reason to muddle over later. She reluctantly turned her mind to the main reason she was mad—and admitted, only to herself, scared.

Peeta wanted children. Wanted them badly, and was damn vocal about it, too.

Katniss couldn't explain how just the THOUGHT of children she brought into this world filled her with panic, such unreasoning terror, that she could barely catch her breath.

Well, she couldn't explain it to _Peeta_, anyway_._

Because then she'd have to admit, in all fairness, that the thought of THEIR children, with his smile, or her hunting ability, or seeing HIS blue eyes under a mop of HER brown waves, caused her heart to clench with longing…

And she honestly couldn't say which was stronger, the terror or the longing.

She'd had, after all, a lifetime of experience with terror. Longing was a newer emotion, and usually brought pain. The brighter emotions had only been part of her life with Prim…and now, Peeta.

"He needs to know."

A masculine voice, slightly familiar, caused Katniss to look around, startled, then to reach, cursing, for a weapon which wasn't nearby.

Seated at the kitchen table as she was, in the house she and Peeta shared, she was at a disadvantage to the man standing not ten feet from her. And not just any man. If the fact that he had a halo and wings was not disconcerting enough, she had last seen THIS man less than two years ago.

Before he had been killed, along with most of the population of District 12.

"I'm definitely losing it," she moaned. "I'm seeing Peeta's dead FATHER in my kitchen!"

"Nope, I'm really here," Mr. Mellark said, blue eyes twinkling.

"But see, you can't be here. Because you're DEAD. I'm just cracking up… finally," she muttered.

"They said you'd be difficult."

Despite her belief in her insanity, Katniss felt compelled to say "Who?"

"Prim. And Rue."

The sound of her sister's name and the young girl she had failed to save brought Katniss great agony. She almost bent double with it.

"Prim and Rue are DEAD, as are you."

"Well, that's no reason to IGNORE us," Christopher Mellark stated.

"We have little time. And you need to listen."

"Oh, really? And how long do I have for a hallucination?"

"Not very long," he retorted. Then his voice softened. "I really AM here."

Katniss, for the moment, decided to believe him. "Okay, so you're here. Why me? Why not Peeta? He misses you so."

"You and he are a lot more alike than either of you realize. I'm here because you need help. And Peeta's seeing me would not help him."

Katniss rolled her eyes. "And you know this because…"

"I know a lot more now than I did when I was alive," Christopher said cryptically.

"Great. So you're here…"

"You and Peeta are at a crossroads in your relationship. The decisions you two make can change everything. I'm here to help you make the most informed choice you can."

"Oh, okay." Katniss still wasn't sure she wasn't having a breakdown, but she had decided to humor it.

"I know you still don't believe me. But you've always been difficult to convince. Comes from your father, he says."

THAT convinced Katniss. Christopher Mellark and Abraham Everdeen had not been close, but her father had told her she was as stubborn as he was.

"All right, so I believe you. Why are you here?"

"My son's future happiness…and yours…are at stake. I want to help you both."

"But—"

"Answer me this. Do You Love Peeta?"

"Yes."

"Can you see it?"

"Well, no."

"Then think of me as a manifestation of the love that brought Peeta to be. Accept I'm real, in other words."

Katniss, without thought, reached out to him.

He was solid!

"See?"

"All right, you're here. You said Peeta's future happiness…?"

"And yours, my girl. You say you don't want children."

Katniss grew defensive. "I don't."

"Right now."

"EVER." Maybe, she thought to herself.

"What if you had a choice? Peeta and children or anyone else and no children? Who would you choose?"

"It wouldn't come down to that. Peeta…"

"Loves you so much, he wouldn't make you choose. But say you have to. Say it came down to that. Who would you choose?"

Katniss' shoulders slumped. "Peeta. Any equation with Peeta in it."

Christopher smiled. "Now how hard was that? But what if you DIDN'T have to choose? What if you could wait until you were ready?"

"I—huh?" Katniss' ears perked up.

"Say you didn't have to have children right now. Say you could tell Peeta your fears and hopes. You could tell him WHY you're so scared. He could help you put off the decision five, ten years. Would you still choose him?"

"Yes."

"Let me tell you a secret about my son. He's loved you from the time you were both five years old."

"I know that."

"No, not a crush. LOVE. He would do ANYTHING to make you happy and whole and lastly his. He's _always_ wanted only your happiness. But even _his_ patience and steadfastness has a limit. He can't tilt at windmills. He needs to know the demons he's fighting, and that it _might_ give him the end he desires.

Do you love him enough to fight this battle too?"

Katniss was silent for a moment, tears pouring down her face.

"I'm so scared."

"So is he."

Katniss was startled. "He is?"

"He thinks he'll be a bad father, that he'll be a bad husband, that he won't be able to provide all the things his family would need the way he would like to."

"But he's a good-"

"Man? Provider? Yes. But he's still scared, Katniss. He wants to take the chance. He still wants the mixture of souls your and his children would have. But he'd give up that dream to make you happy. Does he have to? Can you say the same?"

Katniss looked, really LOOKED, at Christopher. The man who could have been her father if her mother hadn't followed her heart. All she could say, as she looked into those uniquely blue eyes, "Peeta has your eyes."

Those eyes smiled. "He does. And that makes me so proud. Being a parent is a very hard job. It will keep you up nights, with worry and wonder. But it's also the most rewarding job you'll ever face—if you're ready. And neither of you are ready yet."

"Peeta, either?" Katniss arched an eyebrow.

"Oh, no, honey, and he knows that. He just wants to know that you're open to the IDEA, SOMEDAY."

"Someday," she echoed. "Maybe."

"Then TELL him that. He deserves to be a husband AND father."

Katniss thought, then reluctantly nodded.

"Then that's all I could ask." To Katniss' shock, he started to fade.

"Hey, wait!" she cried.

"Oh, one more thing. When I asked if you could SEE your love for Peeta? Children are the vision of that love. Take care of my boy, Katniss. He deserves that."

Then he was gone, leaving Katniss to think—and maybe for the first time in a while, just FEEL.

End Part 2


	3. Chapter 3

Sorry it took so long to update! I have just been so busy, Real Life (RL) has taken chunks out of my time. Anyway, here's the last section of "conversations".

Conversations

Part 3

Katniss was still sitting there, thinking and feeling, when the door swung open.

Startled, she looked up.

Peeta stood there, out of breath and covered in snow. Katniss stood, concerned with his expression… and maybe goaded by it.

He was equally concerned by hers.

They both (mentally) took a bracing breath and spoke as one.

"We need to talk."

The unison made them laugh a little.

"Tell you what. You go into the living room, get warmed up by the fire. I'll bring you some hot cocoa, and then we'll both talk."

He did as suggested, shedding his outer gear, flexing his fingers in front of the fire in the fireplace.

His determination and drive had waned a little on the walk—almost sprint!- back to the house. Oh, not his determination to love Katniss no matter what. THAT was still there. But that little voice that we hear in the depths of our souls was trying to convince him to just leave things the way they were.

He couldn't do that. He WOULDN'T do that. That's what he held on to.

Katniss' nerves hadn't fared much better during her (short) wait. But she, too, let love do the fighting.

She brought in a tray with two mugs and set it down on the table in front of them. She handed him his, then took hers and drank carefully.

He did the same.

They spoke again.

"You first."

They laughed again. "We should go on the road with this act," Katniss teased. Her hand lifted to brush across Peeta's forehead, moving some unruly strands of hair. The spontaneous gesture of affection tugged at his heart. Until she became serious and spoke again.

"I may never want children."

His heart clenched, but he spoke evenly, remembering his unearthly conversation of earlier. "I understand."

" I may not want them, but YOU do."

"Yes."

Katniss paused for a moment, remembering her own heavenly visitor, then gathering her thoughts…paused, and discarding most of those thoughts, spoke from her feelings.

"What would you say if I told you it's not that I don't WANT kids, it's that I'm afraid of HAVING them? And I don't mean physically," she said quickly.

Peeta understood her instantly,- one of the many reasons she loved him so.

"Because of the Games- the world we lived in?"

"Yes. And other reasons."

"Like Prim. You raised, loved and lost her. What's to stop Fate, if you will, from striking again?"

Katniss was surprised. "Yes."

"Can I ask you something? What if it didn't?"

"Huh?"

Peeta spoke with certainty. "What if life took what we consider the "normal" course. We had children, they grew up healthy, happy and loved, and they buried US? What if the worst that happened to them was a broken bone?"

She looked thoughtful. "Good point." She realized something Mr. Mellark HADN'T said in his visit. She was so focused on the bad that could happen, she didn't want to see the good, for fear it could be taken from her. But the best thing she had—Peeta—was still there. Would ALWAYS (for the most part) be there. She KNEW that now. But she was still scared.

Peeta gave her a moment to process what was running through her head, then spoke again. "So why don't we compromise?"

"Okay."

"We'll set a wedding date. I won't expect to have children with you right away, and we'll work on your fears of ever having them—did you say OK?"

Katniss laughed. "I said we'll compromise. You give me some time, I'll consider—seriously consider—having kids."

Peeta was stunned. This was going easier and better than he had expected! "What changed your mind?"

"I love you."

He was puzzled now—and touched. "I love you too."

"No, because I love you. And you want kids."

Peeta put his hands on Katniss' cheeks, looking deep into her eyes. "Let's get one thing clear. Katniss Everdeen. I do want children—with you, and only with you. But I want YOU more. If you decide, after clear and careful consideration that you don't want kids, I'll accept that. But I NEED you."

Katniss was deeply moved. "Oh, Peeta. I need you too. And it's not that I don't want a little Mellark running around. You're the ONLY man I would want kids with. It's just—"

"You're deeply scarred and afraid. And you need time."

Now it was Katniss's turn to be puzzled. "Yes!"

"Okay. You consider them. I'll hold off asking for—2 years."

"10!" Katniss retorted.

"5. I think you'll get through your fears faster than that. I'll ask again in 5 years."

Katniss put out her hand to seal the bargain. "Deal."

Peeta wrapped his arms around her. "I have a much better way to seal the deal." He kissed her with all the love in his 19-year-old heart.

She returned the kiss with all the love in hers.

When Peeta let Katniss loose, they were smiling. "I like your ways better."

"So do I," He growled, kissing her again.

When she pulled back after THAT one, she said solemnly. "I am sorry, Peeta. I need to remember what we've already faced, and know that as long as we face life together—"

"Nothing will get us down for long," he finished. "and I'm sorry, too."

As they curled into each other, happy and (relatively) at peace, two heavenly figures gave each other a high five.

Christopher Mellark and Primrose Everdeen knew that Peeta Mellark and Katniss Everdeen would not have it easy. They were too stubborn and opinionated to let life just happen to them, however. Besides, both Katniss and Peeta reveled in the challenges. And after all, they had each other. They could face anything as long as they had each other.

And isn't that the best way to live life after all?

THE END!

Finally finished, fans! Let me know what you thought!


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